It’s an arduous choice.
Plethora of ifs and buts racing in my head.
Two roads, one to pick.
I have a decision to make.
Which would be the greater mistake?
For I’ll only remain with ache.
Sleepless nights, wide awake.
“What if I crash?
What if I rue?”
There would be no solace.
Which to cull?
Where to wend?
Wear a mask, you will be accepted
Or unveil the mask to get rejected
Cover those ugly truths and scars,
pretend like nothing has ever happened
Or flaunt your scars like no one does,
for your bravery lies in it !
Is it your so called maturity to cover yourself up,
To hide yourself from the judgemental world,
Or is it your inability to be dauntless ?
But do you realise something ?
Nothing is worse than a war within
So What do you choose ?
To Breathe or suffocate ?
Generally, I don’t promote any movie related stuff on my blog but this time I couldn’t help it ! Because it’s the visual spectacle, BAHUBALI 2: THE CONCLUSION. This movie bought the whole nation together. It’s rare to see a hindi dubbed version of a South Indian movie getting such a huge release all over the country. For those who donot know, this movie was shot for more than five years involving a huge number of top-notch technicians and artists. If I’m not wrong, the whole country is eagerly waiting to unveil this epic in cinemas. With just a few days left for it to hit the screens, tickets are being sold like hotcakes, I wonder if I would get to watch it on the very first day..I know it sounds ridiculous but getting a ticket on the first day is like getting ice cold water in a desert.
For those who are just curious enough like me to know “Why kattappa killed Bahubali ?”, start booking tickets now itself or else you wouldn’t save yourself from bumping into all the review pages on the internet. So, to avoid spoilers, hurry up people!
Writing, a magical connection between my soul and the pen
When the deepest of desires flow like ink on the the paper,
there is a true sense of fulfilment,
a completeness to you, my dear soul.
Dear unbiased white paper filled with the ink of my ambiguous heart and soul,
I wouldn’t find answers in you when things are complicated enough,
but you give me a clearer and an unblurred image of what I really perceive.
You show me the truth and the the job is done from within.
What drives my writings is you.
You are a powerful tool, when used wisely
I can stare at you for as long as you are calm and subtle
You nourish my soul with a plethora of emotions, making it an infinity
My dear soul,
how grateful can I be to you for making me the person I’m today !
But in return just give me one thing…
give me more courage to surpass my fears,
to live my dreams,
to stand up and live like nobody else in the world.
Can I run away to a no man land ?
Where there is no time for terrifying exams
And Regressive results
Where people are free to make their own choices
Unanswerable to the society.
For nine months
I was in the safest place of the universe
Not even a billion dollars can buy it
I was lucky enough to be inside her and experience her warmth
But this world was Waiting for me to be kicked outside
So that it could hear me cry
I didn’t know that world is such a shitty place
Until I stepped into it
It only blabbers about what my gender is
And what my colour is
Leaving aside all the pain she has suffered to bring me out
This universe is blinded by the beauty of men and women
It’s eyes lost the power to penetrate into the real beauty
Those rays are reluctant to accept the actuality of one within
Even I’m so inevitable to its perception
That dreadful mirror reminds me of my imperfections
It would be a foolishness
To think of a mirror
Which reflects the real me
The true me appears gloomy in this false reflection
I pity those shallow mirrors
Which have no consideration to the beauty of my soul
Eventually I will be going away for the goodness sake
This body has no importance
It is finally buried deep into the ground
I want mine to be a heroic death unlike others
Which serves some purpose to this world
Regardless of how shitty place it is
Is this just arrogance?
Or my desire to be courageous?
I don’t know !
All I know is I want to be great
And leave my mark in those scarcely left golden pages
For the ages to come
And ages to go
With every new year comes an other huge task. Making resolutions. But I’m not someone who plans out things before hand. I just go by the moment. Because planning prior to execution and not following it later only ruins everything for me. With such instances repeating over and over, I decided not to plan anything !
Because of my plan to not to plan, I’m constantly being called a slothy lethargic incorrigible little girl. Yes! They call me a little girl when I am no longer even a teen. Alright! I need to put an end to this. When I could dutifully follow my plan to not to plan anything, why not the real ones ?Why can’t I become an organised person which my family and society expects me to be? Afterall it would be lovely to be that “MONICA” among the “RACHELs” all around.
Heres my resolution, a straight and simple one: To be a consistent person.
P.S To be honest, I made quite a big list of resolutions and broke them the next day itself. Because of the dissappointment of breaking my vows, I totally gave up that list. I sank into a false image of happiness by surrendering to my fears. It took me some time to realise that “that’s not the way “.
It was when a friend told me “Don’t give up. There exists something called a second chance” , then I gave my list a second shot. So, I just wanna be a fair and consistent person while enforcing my resolutions.
Making, breaking resolutions might not be that big a deal. But life is an ocean made up of myriads of those little things. Don’t let a wave disappear without realising the reason for its existence. Everything matters !
Today I woke up to a notification from WordPress which read congratulations on 100 follows. I had no clue as to how to react as I was half awake, half asleep. I fumbled with my phone, later completely awake, realised it was no dream. I was overwhelmed. I take this as an opportunity to thank my virtual family of the blogosphere for encouraging me through your likes, comments. Those discussions in the comments section have helped me improve and moreover gave me a whole new perspective to my own write up.
How it all started ?
Initially , it all started with an aimless writing of mine to keep myself amused. Eventually I became passionate about writing. My first poem made me feel as though I have reached the top of the highest mountain. But believe me, writing is something that made me see the other side of myself. Then, with so much of enthusiasm I started sharing my little poems with a couple of friends. I never had a miniscule of confidence to show my write ups to a larger part of crowd because of my so called insecurities. But now I realise those are all my false presumptions.
Creating an account on WordPress hardly takes any time. Yet the nut shell in which I sat was so rigid that it required a lot of force and pressure to be broken down. I am so glad that I have some nice people on my side who applied a positive pressure on me which eventually made me start blogging.
I finally clicked sign up still stumbling and made my first post. Something confined to my notebook is now visible to the world. The moment I publicised about my blog on social media, appreciation comments started flooding. Boom ! All my insecurities vanished with the positivity and the encouragement I received which keeps me going till date. All your comments, likes fuel me with more enthusiasm to write and learn. With WordPress I got to interact with amazing writers. World is filled with plethora of pen pals, it is only a matter of time that you figure out.
Few things I learnt through this journey
1. Sharing your happiness doubles it. For me happiness is writing and WordPress is a double happiness station.
2. Don’t compare yourself with anyone. Each one has their own style of writing.
3. Just write whatever you have in heart. Only that will keep you going.
Writing is so soothing to the heart, to the soul. So I Tell myself , keep writing and nourish the soul.